Wondering how to approach a girl on the internet? Then you’ve come to the right place! We have already addressed this subject several times in our columns but today, through this article, I wanted to give you the crucial things to know before approaching a girl on the Internet.
Whether you use Meetic, Tinder, Attractive World, Adopt a Guy or Facebook, you will learn how to make a good approach and especially not to make the mistakes that 95% of men make on the internet!
You will also find links to our articles about the main dating sites and applications if you would like to find out more about your favorite site or app.
What you need to do BEFORE you approach a girl on the internet.
On the Internet, if you want answers to your approaches, you must have an irreproachable profile. And this applies to any dating site. Because certainly the first email is important but not as much as your profile and even less than your photos.
You have to keep in mind that a girl’s first reflex, if your approach is good, will be to go see your profile and your photos BEFORE taking the initiative to answer you.
So there’s no point hoping for a good response rate with a mouldy profile and pixilated or snapshot photos.
The first thing to do before approaching a girl on the internet is to write an excellent profile and select your photos. Don’t make excuses and don’t be lazy, like most men on the internet, to take time to write a good profile and select (or make) good photos. It’s crucial if you want to approach a girl online effectively! Don’t procrastinate either and don’t put off writing your profile until tomorrow, do it now!
If you want to dig this point, I advise you to read our article How to hit on Meetic – The right ad if you use a site requiring a full description (Meetic, Adopt a Guy, Attractive World, eDarling, etc…).
If you use an application that uses photos as a profile (Tinder, Happn…), I advise you to read our article Tinder : our complete file to catch like a piglet, there is a whole section that will detail how to choose good photos.
How to approach a girl on the internet – The first message
Now that you have a good profile and good photos, we can get down to business: how to approach a girl on the internet?
Before that, you must know that a girl a little cute, literally drowns under messages on any dating site. I told you about this a few months ago in an article where I explained why most men are unable to meet people on Meetic. The figures are quite amazing since in only 3 days, the female profile I had created for the occasion received 122 messages and 130 flashes!
If I tell you all this it is really to make you realize that women are highly sought after on dating sites and therefore that the first message is crucial to differentiate you!
For that, you will have to show originality! So, you must ban all the flat, boaty and boring messages that women receive all day long.
You won’t use the same messages as 95% of guys on the internet, that is to say :
Hey, how you doing?
Hey, what are you looking for here?
You’re really very charming.
Hey, can we get to know each other?
And the list goes on…
So no, we don’t compliment her on her looks, we don’t ask her what she’s looking for here either… You’re both on a dating site, so she’s not there to learn how to cook but to… meet people…
Okay Sylvain, that’s all well and good, but what do we tell them then to approach them? I’m getting to that!
There are tons and tons of different ways to approach a girl well on the internet. But there are two types of approaches that give results well above average.
The humorous approach
You know the saying, woman laughing, woman half in your bed. So it’s no coincidence that the humor-based approach gives excellent results (I’m not saying you’re going to have sex with her in a minute!).
Here are some examples:
URGENT! Seeking marriage (tax control)
Those eyes… that smile… that dreamy body… But enough about me, how are you?
You see in passing that it is perfectly possible to inquire about his state of health otherwise than by a banal Hello it goes?
Personally, approaching a girl on the internet with humour is one of my favourite approaches because it allows me to quickly judge my target’s sense of humour and if she doesn’t have one: Next!
The curiosity-based approach
Curiosity is a nasty flaw but, fortunately for us, all women are and these approaches are the ones that give the best results! The idea is to arouse your target’s curiosity and if you succeed, then be sure that she will answer you to find out more.
For example :
You like chocolate?
Never receiving this kind of question and even less in the first approach, your target will wonder what the report could be and will often answer you:
Uh, yeah, why?
Then it’s up to you to develop a little routine to bounce back and start the conversation.
A third for the road: the personalized approach
A third type of approach also works quite well, it is the personalised approach or contextual approach. As you probably know, every woman loves to feel unique.
Try to notice an element on one of his photos or profile to use it in your approach. This will demonstrate your ability to observe and set you apart from other men who have not made the effort to peel his profile.
Here is an example of contextual opener on a girl who had indicated in her profile Tinder :
Note to those who take selfies in their bathroom and/or can not write French: pass your way. Thank you.
With a contextual opener you show your target that you are not only interested in his physique and display your subtlety.
With the amount of information available on a profile, there is necessarily something you can find on which to build your contextual approach.
How to approach a girl on the internet – What to avoid
Now that you know the approaches that give the best results to approach a girl on the internet, let’s look at the topics to avoid absolutely.
It should therefore be remembered that serious subjects do not really have their place on a dating site. This way you will avoid talking about money, wars, religions and politics.
If you want to meet people, women should spend a pleasant time with you and these subjects are rarely pleasant. So banish it, especially in a first approach.
Likewise, I advise against talking about sex. Overall, you will have time to sexualize the conversation during your face-to-face meeting.
If you knew how many guys make clumsy or even totally inappropriate hints (like Do you swallow? as an opener) it’s scary. So much so that talking about sex too soon immediately makes you look heavy.
5 tips to maximize your response rate
The competition is tough on dating sites and women have plenty of choice. The most beautiful ones literally crumble under the messages. Also, even with the best opener in the world and the best profile, you will not get a 100% response rate.
However, here are 5 tips to follow if you want to get as many answers as possible.
Approaching a girl with a short message
Keep in mind that the girl doesn’t know you, so she won’t take the time to read your first message if it’s a novel. A woman’s first reflex when facing a pavement is to remove it.
Make your first message short (2 to 3 lines maximum) and airy.
Take care of your spelling
When I read some of the emails we receive at the Online Séduction editorial office, I really get scared. No punctuation, no capital letters and mistakes almost every word.
They are usually the ones who ask me for help because they don’t understand why they have no results on dating sites. No wonder.
Do you think a girl will smile and answer you by reading this message?
that horn 2 rev… that may have spoken 2 me, how are you gonna
or this one:
Those eyes… that smile… that dreamy body… But enough about me, how are you? 😉
I give it to you in 1000. Even if you are not a spelling god, use a spell checker and make sentences without saving characters, you will not pay more for your subscription.
Think of recovery, systematically
As I said, girls receive (too) many messages on dating sites. So even with a crazy profile and a great approach, she may not have seen your message. She may also have read it and then, busy with something else, closed the application without answering you. The next time it connects, your message will be lost, drowned in the middle of spam: “Hi, how are you?
So it’s really important to relaunch a girl on the internet if she hasn’t responded to your first message. Attention, relaunching does not mean spammer. You don’t have to send him 10 messages in one day.
I estimate that 24/48h max is the good granulometry for a relaunch. Make a short, fun raise like:
You already found the man of your life? 🙂
If she doesn’t respond to your reminder, forget it. You missed your shot, you’ll do better next time.
NEVER make a compliment in your first message
Girls receive compliments all day long on dating sites. The “Coucou t’es charmante” invade her box, so she doesn’t even bother to read them anymore.
If you hope to get an answer, never make a compliment in a first message, you’ll avoid being labeled lumpy, like the 30 others before you.
Ask a question at the end of your message
By asking a question in your message, you significantly increase your chances of getting an answer. Indeed, you facilitate the exchange since your target simply needs to answer your question and does not need to think too much.